Week 2 of our 12 week Series, “Black Women Living Well 2025” is focused on mental health and how self-perceptions of who we are affect our psyche.
Black women have long been defined by their appearance. For centuries, society has relied on derogatory terms like “Aunt Jemima,” “blackie,” “Jezebel,” “ugly,” and “unattractive” to describe, degrade and diminish the black women based on her looks.
These labels have perpetuated harmful stereotypes, reinforcing narrow, Eurocentric beauty standards while devaluing our inherent worth. Many of these terms, deeply ingrained in societal consciousness, reflect a legacy of racism and the dehumanization of Black women.
Hundreds of years of brainwashing and programming have led some Black women to internalize distorted perceptions of their appearance, convincing them that their Black “isn’t” beautiful. This distorted self-image has fueled a multi-billion-dollar beauty industry, which thrives on exploiting these perceptions and promoting products that claim to “fix” these deficiencies.
A Paradigm Shift: How Being Black Was Once Coveted
In the 1970s, Black women underwent a profound cultural and social shift, embracing their Blackness in ways that empowered them to reclaim their identities and challenge dominant narratives.
This period marked a pivotal moment in history, driven by the intersection of the Civil Rights Movement, the Black Power Movement, and the Feminist Movement, which collectively provided a platform for Black women to assert their self-worth, celebrate their heritage, and push back against oppressive systems. This time period is known as “The Rise of Black Power and Black Pride.”
Black women in particular began to embrace their natural features, including their dark skin, big noses, full lips, and curly hair, which had previously been devalued in favor of Eurocentric beauty standards.
As Black women embraced their Blackness in the 1970s, their visibility and influence began to spread throughout popular culture. The fashion industry, music, and media began to reflect and celebrate Black beauty in a way that had never been seen before and, in many respects, we haven’t seen since.
Your Black is No Longer Beautiful: The Resurrection of Colorism
Another force that contributed to this shift was colorism, the preference for lighter skin within the Black community and the larger society. Between the 1600s and 1865, Colorism in the African American community began during the enslavement of Africans in the Americas.
During this time, enslaved Black people were often categorized and treated differently based on skin tone, with lighter-skinned individuals receiving certain privileges over darker-skinned individuals. Fast forward and the “Black is Beautiful” movement is a thing of the past.
However, between the 1980s and 2000s, a major shift occurred. The 1980s brought with it a shift in cultural trends, fueled by rising consumerism, the increasing power of the media, and the birth of cable television. There was a visible push to embrace “exotic” beauty, where lighter-skinned Black women were often seen as more desirable or marketable.
BET replaced Soul Train and Black women mainstream beauty ideals became more dominant through advertising, television, and movies. The rise of supermodels like Cindy Crawford, Naomi Campbell and Claudia Schiffer set the tone for beauty standards that were largely influenced by Eurocentric features.
While Naomi Campbell was an iconic figure who represented diversity in the fashion world, much of society still largely celebrated blonde, straight-hair, white and eventually light-skinned women.
Darker-skinned women, despite being influential in the culture, were often left out of the mainstream beauty discourse or relegated to specific niches (e.g., fashion icons or activists), while lighter-skinned women often found more opportunities in the modeling and entertainment industries. This trend perpetuated the value placed on European beauty standards, creating a divide within the Black community that still lingers.
In fact, Black women with more Europeanized features like lighter skin, straight hair, and smaller noses were often more heavily promoted in media and beauty and still are to this day. This type of programming or conditioning has had a profound impact on our mental health and taken a “physical” toll in some respects.
The Psychological Toll On Mental Health
When these societal norms clash with Black women’s natural features, the psychological toll can be profound.
Internalized Racism and Colorism
- Internalized racism occurs when Black women adopt negative stereotypes about their own race, including the belief that their Black features such as dark skin, fuller lips and textured hair are inferior to European features. This can result in feelings of shame, self-hatred, or inadequacy and cause Black women to seek to “fit in” with white beauty ideals. The constant comparison to Eurocentric beauty standards can lead to a persistent feeling of not measuring up, resulting in lower self-esteem and self-worth.
- Colorism, which prioritizes lighter skin tones and features that align with white beauty ideals, further exacerbates these feelings. Darker-skinned Black women, for example, face discrimination within their own communities and in wider society, leading to feelings of exclusion, marginalization, and rejection. This bias has negatively impacted our sense of identity, contributing to depression and anxiety.
2. Psychological Effects of Beauty Standards
- Society’s insistence on European-like beauty ideals where straight hair, lighter skin and specific body types are seen as “beautiful” has created immense pressure for Black women to conform. The overwhelming desire to meet these standards has led to body dysmorphia, where a woman becomes fixated on perceived flaws and may engage in harmful behaviors such as excessive dieting, bulimia, over-exercising, or more extreme measures like butt implants or skin-lightening products. All which contribute to low self-esteem, anxiety and depression.
3. Impact on Identity and Self-Expression
- Black women often face a dilemma between embracing their natural beauty and conforming to societal expectations. For example, the movement toward embracing natural hair in recent years has empowered many Black women to wear their hair in its natural texture. However, this has also created tensions with workplace and societal norms, where straightened hair is still often seen as more “professional” or “polished.”
4. Perceived Worth Based on Appearance
- When beauty is framed as the primary measure of a woman’s worth, Black women are often taught that their value is tied to their physical appearance, particularly how closely they align with White standards of beauty. This contributes to a shallow sense of self-worth and undermines self-acceptance, particularly in young girls who look to social media for validation.
- The pressure to be “beautiful” can be especially overwhelming when Black women are frequently reduced to their appearance in the media, where their worth is often judged based on how closely they resemble the idealized beauty standard.
5. Microaggressions and Social Exclusion
- Black women often experience microaggressions disguised as subtle but are really pervasive forms of racism targeted at their appearance. These can include comments about their hair (“Is that your real hair?”), their skin (“You’re pretty for a dark-skinned woman”), or their body (“You’re so thick, you must be exotic”). While these remarks may seem harmless to some, they reinforce the idea that Black women are “othered” and different, contributing to feelings of alienation and dehumanization.
- Social exclusion based on appearance also contributes to a sense of isolation, where Black women may feel that they are not fully accepted in certain spaces, whether in professional settings, social circles, or even within their own communities. This sense of alienation can lead to increased levels of stress, depression, and anxiety.
6. Chronic Stress and Its Long-Term Effects
- Constantly navigating the microaggressions, bias, and discrimination based on appearance takes a toll on our mental health. The stress of trying to fit into Eurocentric beauty standards, combined with the emotional labor required to combat negative stereotypes, and the costs to adhere to certain beauty standards has led to chronic stress.
- Chronic stress is linked to a host of negative physical and mental health outcomes, including depression, anxiety disorders, insomnia, and even heart disease which is the number one killer of women. This prolonged stress is particularly damaging to Black women’s mental health because it compounds the effects of racial trauma and marginalization.
- Many of the beauty and hair products marketed to black women contain harmful carcinogens known to cause cancer and disrupt reproductive systems. Formaldehyde a poisonous chemical used primarily for embalming dead bodies is a leading ingredient used in many of these products
7. Impact on Relationships and Social Life
- Negative self-image, rooted in distorted views of beauty, has also affected how Black women interact with others, both in intimate relationships and in friendships. Struggling with body image issues or feeling inadequate has made it difficult to form meaningful connections, especially when Black women feel misunderstood or unsupported in their efforts to embrace their authentic selves.
8. Healing and Empowerment
- Despite these challenges, many Black women have begun to reclaim their identities and embrace their natural beauty as a form of resistance. Movements such as #BlackGirlMagic and the natural hair movement have empowered Black women to reject harmful stereotypes and celebrate their Blackness in all its forms.
- Therapy, self-care, and affirmations centered on self-love and cultural pride have also become powerful tools in addressing the mental health effects of societal beauty standards. The act of embracing one’s true self, irrespective of society’s narrow definitions of beauty, can help combat the psychological damage caused by these imposed standards.
I recently had the privilege of sitting down with local Tulsa mental health therapist, Cantiese Burrell, for a one-on-one conversation about how we arrived at this point and more importantly, how we can begin to dismantle the centuries of messaging that have shaped and impacted our psyches.
Lisa: Cantiese, as Black women navigate the complexities of identity, image, and self-esteem in a world that places so much emphasis on appearance, what advice would you offer to help our readers silence the noise and reclaim their sense of self?
Cantiese: Thank you Lisa for this powerful question and the opportunity to talk about recalibrating our relationship with beauty as Black women in a world that’s constantly shifting. As a brown girl myself, let me begin by saying to my beautiful sisters who are reading this: I see you, I hear you, and I truly understand the complexities of the journey we’re all on together.
First, we’re carrying what I call the “Double Mirror Effect” often seeing ourselves through both our own eyes and society’s lens at the same time. I don’t know about you but for me and many of my clients it is exhausting. One minute we’re feeling ourselves, loving our natural hair, curves, and melanin-rich skin, and the next minute we’re questioning whether we need to “tone it down” for that big meeting or special event. This constant tug of war between our authentic selves and pull to meet society’s expectations of professionalism and beauty takes a real toll on us.
Then there’s what I lovingly call our “Beauty Inheritance” or the messages we’ve absorbed from our mothers, grandmothers, and aunties about how we should see ourselves. These incredible women, who did their best to protect us and prepare us for the world, often passed down wisdom shaped by their own experiences. However, some of those teachings may have unintentionally suggested that our natural features needed to be “fixed” or “managed.”
Lisa: Cantiese, how can Black women consciously “reprogram” the messages, thoughts, and beliefs we’ve internalized about ourselves? In other words, what practical steps can we take to shift our mindset and redefine what beauty truly means for us?
Cantiese: First, we need to consider where we’re receiving these affirming messages from. In today’s world, social media has become the primary source of information. I refer to this as the “Social Media Comparison Dilemma.” We’re constantly bombarded with images that either completely exclude us or depict our features being celebrated on everyone but us.
Here are three (3) powerful ways to turn down the noise and recalibrate:
1. Create A Personal Oasis of Self-Love
It’s time to create your own personal oasis of self-love. This goes beyond just your physical environment though surrounding yourself with images that honor the full range of Black beauty is incredibly powerful. It’s about cultivating a mental and emotional space where your beauty is undeniable and unquestionable. Start each day with what I call a “Beauty Truth Moment.” Look in the mirror and speak life into your features. Those full lips? Royal. That rich melanin? Pure magic. That nose? Ancestral beauty. Your coily hair? A crown. Make this practice as essential to your routine as your morning tea, coffee, or smoothie.
2. Practice Ancestral Love
Let’s change the way we view our features by linking them to our rich heritage. When you look in the mirror, see beyond society’s limited beauty standards. Your dark skin is more than just a color—it’s the powerful melanin that protected your ancestors and carries their stories. It draws in the energy of the sun. Your hair texture isn’t just curls or coils; it’s a map of resilience passed down through generations. This shift in perspective transforms how you care for yourself. It turns everyday acts, like moisturizing your skin or styling your hair, into sacred rituals of self-love and a deep connection to your roots.
3. Build Your Beauty Tribe
You know that feeling when you’re surrounded by Black women who truly get it? That’s the kind of energy we need to nurture. Surround yourself with sisters who not only embrace their natural beauty but also inspire you to do the same. This might mean curating your social media feed to follow content creators who mirror your experience, joining communities that honor Black beauty in all its forms, or creating and participating in sister circles where you can share and support one another on this beauty journey.
Our beauty is not up for debate. We are the descendants of women who carried their beauty with regal dignity and grace, even when the world refused to see it. So, the next time the noise gets too loud, turn it down and remind yourself: Our beauty isn’t something to be fixed or altered it’s something to be celebrated, honored, and loved just as it is. We are Beautifully Powerful.
If you or a loved one is struggling with issues related to image, identity, or mental health, or if you’d like more information, you can contact Cantiese Burrell at livingmyworth.com.
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